What's up?

Hi! here I am again. It was so long time ago that I already forgot what was it I wrote last. 

So... it's hard to say what exactly happens right now but here are some good news:

1. we moved together to our own apartment

2. studies are done 

3. summer came

4. I'm steel in Sweden and it's my first summer here.

5. I've seen "studenten" 

 

But here are some bad news as well:

1. I haven't got visa yet

2. My studies went not so well as I aspected 

3. I'm totally alone at home

4. I miss my friends and family

I don't know what should I do right now, but on my opinion it's better just to wait. I hope and pray everything gonna be alright.  

 Best regards :) 

Snowy and windy Sweden

My darling made me a birthday present- trip to Budapest. Actually I don't know why Budapest, that is nothing to do there, but we had a really nice time there haha. First of all their traditionall food was so tasty! That was that what i missed in Sweden for the whole period of beeing here. Guliash! Mmmm, such a tasty soup. That reminds me our traditional "borsh". So the other thing wich made me feel wonderfull was beer! WOW! so delicious the beer was. We ate their own pasta which was tasty as well. 

        But even if Hugary is the EU country, that was not so perfectly. Dog shit was everywhere and homeless alcoholics were sleeping on benches. I wonder how Hungary actually became a EU country! 

       But in spite of this we enjoyed our time in Budapest, visiting restaurants, Thai massage and walking through the city. 

      One thing i would like to say is about Budapest thermal pool. If you ever would like to go to Budapest i suggest you to forget about idea to go to the thermal pool! That is the place where you see 50 disgusting old people in one pool with yellow water! And you can only guess if that water is yellow because of the minerals in it or because of old people who can not keep their selves from piss. Such a disgusting place!!!

      BTW the weather was wonderful! +15! while in Sweden -10 :) 

So when we went back home and our plane landed in Sweden, we were not surprised to hear from the stewardess "Welcome to the snowy and windy Sweden! "

About to blow up

Just lying here in our bed in Sweden and thinking about the life challenge I need to complete.
The first thing is that He is a bitt passive, don't know why, maybe the love has gone...:(
but I still love him, not knowing if he has same feelings to me... we don't talk to much, don't kiss and hug, which I need as a girl. But i don't want to force him, so I'm just "okay". His brother, other type of person at all, love to watch him together with his girlfriend,  the real love is burning between them. I feel even a bit jealous about that:)
So about the university, I was very excited the first day being there, everything is new, interesting... but that "everything new" too strange, makes me feel so mixed-up! I'm about to blow up because of all that. Don't know the way to go, I mean city, don't know language as well, don't have friends, just Him, but unfortunately, I'm not getting any moral support from Him:(
Everything changes, we need to accept new life rules. So it's time to forget about feelings and become "bulletproof".

23th may

Feel frustrated for today. Totally unsure about my knowledges in history, tomorrow is the final exam and I don't get how I will  pass it... Just so dissapointed and nervous, somebody help me!!!

But here are some good news. I wrote the swedish test yesterday. Hopefully that went okay, anyway results will show, waiting for some good news on 28th week (jully).

Wish me good luck on history test! 

Finish/Start ??

This is it! Goodbye dear school...

But the deal is that I couldn't understand if this was the sad FINISH of the absorbing school  life, or if this was a very nice START of the new happy life without such a stupid school problems. Just stood and cried....Cried because I felt that I will never be a part of the childhood without any cares and responsibilities...
Was laughing the same time :) Laughing, because I felt freedom and got a mass of new prospective opportunities ! 
But anyway that is the huge step in the adult life, I'm glad that we are finally done with that challenge!


Congratulations, dear graduates!

Feelings

Is it so hard to decide?
I'm tired of lies so much! Fucking fed up with all of that. I can't even make a step in this chaos, like all the time in uncertainty...
Want to wake up some day and realize that it was just a dream. To start from the very begining....
Too much mistakes have I done, too much time wasted. Just want to get to the finish and forget it all. Don't know what to say more for today.

We become strangers. Sorry

Too close.

Yesterday. We were feeling okay.